Introduction
This single photo landed in my hands and, to everyone’s surprise, it didn’t spark joy. It sparked honesty. I saw a version of me I’d drifted away from — and the gap hurt. So I set a date, wrote a promise, and chose to change. That moment, a random day back on 6th June 2013, became the first step in over a decade-long journey into health, happiness and self-actualisation. This is what I learned, and how you can start your own shift today.
1. Name the moment — and make it real
Change doesn’t begin with a grand plan. It begins with a decision. I picked a date and wrote a promise to myself and sent it to my friends and family. Not a perfect plan. A clear commitment that I can take immediate action on and keep myself accountable to my own word. If you’re ready, give your change a start date and a sentence. I called it “My Promise”. Pin it where you’ll see it. Commitment first. Strategy second.
2. Put yourself back on the list
I’d become the last person I cared for. Work, family, everyone else — then me. That story is common, especially for caretakers and high performers. The fix isn’t more time; it’s different boundaries. Block non-negotiables: sleep windows, movement, food that fuels you, moments of stillness. Protect them like appointments with your future self.
3. Start small, move often
I told myself to “get active” — and then I let “active” be simple. Walks. Bodyweight basics. Ten minutes that became twenty. You don’t need a new identity before you move; movement builds the identity. Aim for repeatable, not impressive. Consistency is the quiet engine of transformation.
4. Let habits carry the load
I didn’t “fix” everything at once. I swapped unhelpful loops for better ones, one by one. Habit stacking works: tie a new action to a cue you already do (coffee → two minutes of breathwork, lunch → ten-minute walk, teeth → phone away from the bedroom). The goal isn’t discipline forever; it’s designing an environment where the right choice is the easy one.
5. Expect feelings, not just milestones
Seeing that photo, I felt grief for the self I’d lost. That feeling didn’t mean failure — it meant honesty. Sustainable change moves through emotion: frustration, pride, doubt, relief. Meet each one without judgement. Self-compassion keeps people in the game far longer than self-criticism ever will.
6. Learn your wiring: biology + behaviour
Over ten years I dug into the science and the self. Everyone thinks of health in two main categories Food & Fitness however the reality is our whole lifestyle including the mind, the environments we work and play in and the people we socialise with all form part of the whole self. These aren’t trends; they’re levers. When you understand how your body and brain respond, decisions get easier, not harder. Insight beats willpower.
7. Think in decades, act today
The promise wasn’t about a “summer body”. It was about the next ten years and the ten years after that and more — vitality, longevity, showing up fully. Long horizons remove the panic. Today’s walk matters because it compounds. This week’s boundaries matter because they teach people how to treat you, including you. Think long game. Act in small steps. Repeat.
Conclusion
That first promise turned into thousands of tiny choices. Some days I nailed it. Some days I didn’t. But the trend line — energy, clarity, confidence — kept heading up. If you’re standing at your own turning point, write your promise. Start with one action you can do today. And remember: you don’t need a new life. You need a new direction, repeated often.
Do you want to see that promise? Well here it is, in its original form. It still moves me when I read it.
